Thursday, 6 October 2011

Somewhere along the way I lost my Pollyanna

It has been a rough time in the House of O.

But I forcing myself to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

There has been the stress of the drama of threats against us from the crazy now ex-client of the Workaholic leading to us moving house, again.  Moving is a MASSIVE stress in itself, without even considering that this is our 7th house the Little Man has lived in in his almost 5 years of life, the financial strain of moving or the ongoing issues this old house has thrown our way (drains, pool, security...).

There is the Workaholics ridiculous hours that he has agreed to in his new job, leaving me for all intents and purposes a single parent.  OK I know he is the bread winner and a real single parent would be working as well as parenting, but I am feeling the lack of any support or assistance, so let me feel sorry for myself for a minute.

There is the ongoing family drama swirling around in the Workaholics Drama Queen laden family.

There are the financial issues of changing to monthly pay, moving expenses coupled with INSANE power bills ($273 for 10 days of electricity, WTF??) which just seem to go on and on.

I have become bogged down in insignificant details, worried about all the things I can't control and getting feral over the house cleaning because I can lay claim to controlling that!  I'm tired, I can't get out and have some much needed child free time to myself. 

To be honest I can't even start to convey exactly how much I have been crumbling under the strain.  What I have written is so insignificant.  It makes me sound so whiney...

So why am I whining on Thankful Thursday?

Well something happened this week.  It was a slow burn and had a massive tanty in the middle of it, but it happened and it is positive and I am thankful.

Last week my friend N had a bit of a go at me for the name of my blog.  "BTW -Polyanna? PML!" was the exact text message.  It made me realise how far off my normal baseline I actually was.  It made me think about it, alot.  I've been so negative and angry lately.

Then we had a totally awful long weekend at home.  The Workaholic and I had the most massive fight, I don't remember one as bad.  He called me LAZY and said I yell at the boys too much.  I walked out of the room and spent the rest of the weekend in bed with a very real headache, so he could see just how lazy I am.  Guess who spent a good chunk of his time alone with the boys yelling at them?  Very satisfying.

Anyway, I am so thankful that these things occurred.  I have switched my brain around and am back on my way back to my normal, positive self.  Taking a step back has really made me realise why I lost it.  This has been such a protracted period of crap, the only way out is to look at the positives that have come out of it and be so thankful that my boys, the Workaholic and I have all remained healthy and together.  The boys are happy and actually like the house that I had started calling the house from hell...

Now I just need to keep positive enough to get through a birthday party at the end of the month and somehow organise a child free weekend away for the Workaholic and I, and I will be back to my Pollyanna self (OK I know I may be deluding myself but that is sometimes what being positive is all about).

What are you thankful for this Thursday?

Linking up with Kate from KateSaysStuff…for Thankful Thursday.


  1. Sometimes you have to go through a really crap period to change your point of view about things, I had a wake-up call not that long ago after a very bad day.

    I have my fingers crossed for you that things improve very soon xxx

  2. Sorry to hear that crappy stuff are happening all at once. But you are right, step back, breathe and try to regroup to move forward.

    There's a Chinese saying brought to mind - 忍一时风平浪静,退一步海阔天空.

    Basically means something like refrain yourself in the moement to calm down, and step back to realise the insignificance of your problem in the big picture.

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka
    New: Wordless Wednesday Linky Party

  3. Chinese sayings are very wise! Sorry things haven't been great. I can relate. Enjoy your new view :)

  4. Oh I hear you. I've been really struggling to regain my 'sunshine and lollipops' attitude lately, I've been tired and overwhelmed and stressed.

    I hope we both have some beautiful, cruisy happy times ahead Sam!

    Thanks for joining in Thankful Thursday :)

  5. The Chinese saying is definitely wise. I am glad that having that period of reflection has enabled you to find your mojo. You do have a lot to be thankful for and you, of all people, know that! x

  6. I'm so sorry to hear everything you've been through lately. Sometimes it is so hard to stay positive and strong when things keep getting thrown at us. Hoping you do rediscover the "glad" in everything soon.


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