Thursday, 20 October 2011

F Bomb Awaaaay!

So the Little Man gets lazy with his speech every now and again.  We in the family, know what he's saying and usually prompt him to correct himself if he doesn't do it for himself.  It works and he is improving, probably self corrects 80% of the time, if he knows he's said something incorrectly.

On Tuesday at the Grand Parents Afternoon Tea at pre school he was falsely accused of saying F**k at the craft table.  My Mum heard but was too shy to tell the teacher that he had actually said stuck, as in "the paddle pop sticks are stuck together.  See, Stuck, stuck" with hands demonstrating this fact apparently.  She told me this in the car after I had been called over by the teacher and then had had a serious conversation with the Little Man.  She's frustrating like that at times.

Anyway, guess what the outcome of her not speaking up was?

Yep, he figured he'd already been in trouble for it, why not drop it again in a much bigger way?  Apparently, something along the lines of "Give me the F**kn thing" yelled at the top of his lungs across the playground.

So, when I arrived and was getting out of the car, before I could walk into the building, I was summoned to the fence for a serious chat with the head teacher of his room, who relayed the incident to me and then told me that on questioning him, he had said that he heard it from his friend "Oratio".  I instantly knew that was a total lie as Horatio (the Little Man treats the H as silent), would NEVER have said any such thing!!  I was also more than a bit annoyed by the entire thing.

What was my response? 

Well firstly I told her the real circumstances from the day before and how "stuck" became a big deal to the teacher who was on hand (a casual, by the way) who had kept on about to all and sundry for 10 minutes after the incident.  Then I asked why she had made such a big issue of the matter also, as it seemed to me considerable pressure must have been applied for the name Oratio to have been uttered in the first place.  I pointed out that having been reprimanded by first the teacher, then myself the day before for something he had not actually done, I was not surprised that he HAD actually used the word today.  Why not? He's already got such a big reaction, why not go for broke?  She nodded and agreed with me, well on the surface anyway.  I flounced off and went into the playground and struck up a conversation with another Mum about something else entirely while we waited for the kids to finish their drinks.  To me, that was pretty much the end of the matter.  I suspect there may be more coming from the pre school though, apparently nobody there swears...

I noticed Spy teacher (she's a management plant - reports everything I do back to the owner since I complained about the Director) eavesdropping on my conversation, but pretty much ignored her as I like to do when possible.  The Munchkin was pouring his drink into the sand pit so I said something like "Munchkin, don't do that, that's wasteful and naughty". She jumped on me before I could say another word to him.  "We don't say naughty here".  I caught myself before I said it, but I thought it. "F**k off you B!tch, mind your own business, he's my son."

I wonder where the Little Man picked up such language?

I do swear, sometimes in moments of frustration, in front of them even.  I do not let my kids swear.  They know the words they shouldn't use and I doubt they would use them in front of me.  Unfortunately, the Workaholic works in a swearing industry and can take phone calls in front of them at times, so they are very aware of how to use swear words for great effect.  In this case I just quietly asked him about it in the car and found out she did pressure him to name the swearer, and WAY too much was made of it, so in my mind he needed nothing more from me, as I could possibly make the whole situation worse.  If it happens in my earshot I will deal with it as it happens and without much fuss.

What's your approach to dealing with swear words your kids come out with?


  1. Girl Child came home from Kindy (first year of big school age 5) with "I know how to spell the F word mum. It's F U C K N."

    When I asked how she knew she told me a child in her class told her. My response was Okay, but it's actually F U C K ING or F U C K EN and we really shouldn't use them as they are not very nice words.

    The poor mother of the good speller was very apologetic when she found put. The drawback of bigger age gaps between kids was definitely on show here.

  2. That is excellent! It's a fab way to deal with the situation. I can imagine having this conversation with the little man, he'd definitely respond to that approach.

  3. We've been through the whole swearing thing with our eldest when he was four. It always seemed to happen around one of his little friends who was always mortified by it. We told our boy that his friends didn't like it when he swore and eventually after his little friend kept dobbing on him he got the point.

    We're now dealing with our nearly 3 year old dropping the F bomb at every opportunity. The other day I hear him say 'Don't do that Mr Fucking'. Then later on that day I hear him yelling 'Fuck, fuck, fuck' to a rhythm while he stepped to the same rhythm. I've heard you should igore the whole swearing thing but to be honest we just couldn't ignore this so he was threatened that he'd be spending the afternoon in his room if he continued to use adult words and the 'f' word magically disappeared for a while. I've been letting rip a fair bit lately so he's got no f'en chance lol!.

    BTW - sounds like a bitch-fest at your daycare!

  4. We have had the odd swear word, but the kids are pretty good. I explained that we dont say it. And if the kids hear me swear they know something is very wrong.
    The Miner too works in a swearing industry so we have the phone call issue too. Plus he does swear a bit.


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