Job Hunting

I am job hunting.

Job hunt mess on my dining room table

It is a very long time since I have looked for a job.  I have pretty much been self employed or a stay at home Mum since the 1990's.

Writing a resume has been interesting.

Meeting selection criteria with relevant and recent examples even more so!

I don't even know if I want a full time or part time job.  I just know I need a job.

The Workaholic is still unemployed so we desperately need an income.

It will be a big change for all of us.  The boys in particular.  They have always had me here.

It will be a massive period of adjustment.

Please keep your fingers and toes crossed for me.  I really need a job!!

Any tips for a Mum who has been out of the workforce for a very long time?

Marilla

Yesterday I put my almost 21 year old cat, Marilla, Miss Kitty, Miss Milly, to sleep.

Marilla

It was a gut wrenching decision. It has been coming for a long time and quite honestly, should have happened six months ago. I've been struggling to keep up with her incontinence and it has been a massive extra pressure on me on a daily basis. I just couldn't imagine life without her, so I kept cleaning up after her. I've never had to euthanise a pet, it was a big deal. In the end I came home on Friday morning and opened the door to a puddle of poo and I knew it was time. I got straight back in the car and drove to the vets where I sobbed on the receptionist and made the appointment for Saturday morning.

It was so peaceful. I knew it was the right decision.

We took her to my parents house and buried her in there garden with their deceased kitties. The boys insisted. It is turning into a bit of a pet cemetery over there but it's comforting to know she's there. Next time we visit, my brother or my Dad will have made her a grave marker and the boys will have a chat to her.

The boys say good bye.

The grave

She was an amazing cat. We were blessed to have her in our lives for so long. She mothered us all when we needed it, she loved people, let my kids, my nieces and nephews do whatever they wanted to her and she was a fighter. Man was she a fighter!

She had a range of health issues over the years because of her start in life as a breeding queen in an overcrowded colony, but even though the vets left me with her at least 4 times over the years because she was going to die, she would make a miraculous recovery. She's had papers written about her by vet students. Her condition was amazing for her age and I swear she could have gone on a while longer if I could have kept looking after her.

If Marilla taught me anything it was to never give up. Thinking about her over the last 24 hours, it has reminded me of something my Grandmother told the Workaholic when she was in her late 80s when he asked her what she thought the secret to living a long life was.

"I decided I was simply not going to die until I was ready." She had been told in her 50s that she had catastrophic kidney problems and not long to live. She died at home as her favourite TV show finished, just shy of her 90th birthday. I think that was on her terms and almost miraculous.

I hope Marilla is OK with my decision and at peace. She has left a gigantic gap in our family.


Have you struggled with the decision to euthanase a pet?

Wordless Wednesday

The Munchkin had a Birthday!

and a party!

Father's Day was quiet and relaxing.

Linking up with Trish @ My Little Drummer Boys for Wordless Wednesday.

The Sky is Falling

Today I am running around like Chicken Little, totally sure the sky is falling.

Out my front window...

Maybe it isn't, but just maybe it is.

Things are still tough in the House of O.  No work on the horizon. No contract payout agreement in the offing.

I've started applying for jobs, I'm selling on eBay and we are revisiting the idea of an interstate move.

The last six years of knocks has left me battered and bruised and completely unable to rise above the crap and well, quite frankly be my usual sunny self.  I knew it would get to me sometime.  My Mum says she can't believe I've made it this far without cracking.

The Little Man is reacting to the tension and getting into trouble at school.  He's grumpy, he's teary, he's a monster, he's a sad little boy.  It's so frustrating that his first year of school has been marred by all this drama.  The me I wish I could find, would say "It will all work out, this crap happens for a reason."  The me who is here right now says "When will we get a break, I just can't take any more drama or bad news."

It's not even the money worries that have pushed me to the brink today.  It's the fact that The Workaholics Dad went into hospital last Monday and for six days none of his FOUR siblings (or his Dad for that matter), bothered to tell him.  He found out on Saturday morning because he phoned his Dad because he hadn't heard from him and he answered his mobile from his hospital bed.  His family just do my head in.

I don't have anything clever to say.

I just thought writing this down and posting it would be cathartic and explain in some way why I am still absent.

I hope you are all doing it a bit easier than me!

Patches of Blue Sky

Things are tough in the House of O at the moment.

I was starting to think our horrible 2012 was finally turning around in July.  It was not to be though.

No sooner had the Workaholic settled into his new office, phone number and email when more drama reared its ugly head. It was with foreboding and horror I listened to him tell me about the fraud he had uncovered in his new employers Queensland operations.  I knew right then and there we were in for more crap.

The Workaholic spent six weeks investigating, collating and explaining the issues to his new boss.  Six weeks of 6am till about midnight, including weekends and his boss lost the plot.  He trashed the office and told the Workaholic to leave.  He's not ready to deal with it.  It's so much money that he's going through mourning.  We understand this because we've been there but we were already at the end of our resilience.  We just cant wait for his sanity to return.  We thought we'd be OK because the Workaholic had a contract.  We are still waiting for him to pay it out.  It may go legal and to be honest I'm not up for it and therefore keeping as far away from the drama as I can now!

It's the Munchkin's third birthday this coming Thursday.  Luckily I have his gifts and the party we are having for him this Saturday is just family and friends, so I have minimal preparation to do.  I don't think I could cope if we had planned a big bash for him this year.  I'm so amazed by this little guy.  He is such a joy in the midst of the daily drama we have been living this year.

On another positive note, my studio is almost finished (even though I have lost a corner to the Workaholics office) and I'm selling my excess bits and bobs on eBay.  I'm pretty excited to get my studio back up and running.  I'm in the process of going through my old shop stock and organising my workspace.  I picked up some fab chairs on eBay so I can teach in there too! Watch this space for some geee-orgeous jewellery creations coming soon.

I am also really excited by the progress the Little Man is making at school.  He has jumped three reading grades in a couple of weeks and his Occupational Therapist is thinking he will be ready to stop seeing her by the end of the term.  This weekend he got a merit award and was given the class mascot monkey for the weekend.  He's really blossoming.  A big tick for our choice of school.  It's totally worth the fees we have managed to scrape together in these difficult times!

'Bobo'
The class mascot spent the weekend with us again this weekend.

At this point, I am trying to concentrate on the positives (this is Living Life Playing the Glad Game after all!!) but it has been really hard with all of the obstacles I keep running into, but most days I think I am winning.  I still have the Plan.  I'm just moving a bit slower that I wanted to.


Small patches of blue sky amongst the grey is what I am focusing on!

Running in Gale Force Winds

Yesterday the Little Man competed in his first school athletics carnival.

It was one of the windiest days I can remember.  Locally, there were tree branches coming down everywhere.  It's a very tree heavy area.  The SES was in high demand.  Because it is held on the school oval they decided to brave it.

The parents arrived bundled up against the wind and watching the clouds out of the corners of their eyes.

It was a well organised event, just as pretty much every event at his school is.  We were asked to be seated track side by 12:15 for a 12:30 start and were to take our weary competitors home at 2:30 after the presentation of trophies.  We were out of there at 2:30 on the dot.

At first I could not find the Little Man in the program, he was pointed out to me by another Mum n Division A of his races.  I had not looked there, who knew he could run? He's not the most athletic of kids!!

They ran into the wind.  They all ran in their tracksuits!  It was a freezing wind.

It was great fun and both the parents and the kids had a wonderful afternoon.

We did have a little hiccup.  The Workaholic had told the Little Man he would be there but about an hour late.  So when I called out to him as he marched out to say I was there, the Workaholic standing next to me.  He had actually arrived early and had saved me a seat.  After watching the Little Man's 2 races, he headed home out of the wind to finish some work.

The problem was that the Little Man had not seen him at all.  So when his teacher handed him over to me at the end of the presentation, he burst into tears and sobbed because "Daddy had not come like he had promised".  It broke my heart.  Myself and two teachers all tried to convince him he had seen his races, but he did not calm down until he got home and saw the photos and video that the Workaholic had taken.  Thank goodness I made him do that!!!

How he missed seeing his Dad when he ran by posing like this, I have no idea

I still do not understand the way the Workaholic's brain works.  Why couldn't he just stay like the other parents?

Apparently though, I am chopped liver.  My attendance was not required.  I should have just stayed home out of the wind!

It drives me a bit crazy to be the parent who does everything but gets passed over for the absent parent at every opportunity.

Best Intentions Scuttled by a Crazy Week

Last week I was so excited and renewed.  I had great plans for blogging, organising and generally moving on from the horrid start to 2012.

I fell victim to a crazy week.

Today I am renewing my commitment to getting on with the Plan. (I'm giving it a capital P from now on - it's that important!!)

It's been two weeks of The Workaholic leaving before 6am and getting home around midnight, so single parenting time again.

Although my personal stress really started on Thursday when I had to make cupcakes for The Little Man's 100 Days of School party on Friday.  I could have done without the extra task on Thursday evening.  Of course my child free Friday was hi jacked by the party at 12 till 1pm, mind you.  With pick up at 2:45 (meaning I need to be parked by about 2:20 - the traffic issues continue), my day was pretty well out of my hands.

Saturday was the usual Soccer for The Little Man with the added bonus of The Munchkin's presence.  He hates being there, making it a bit of a nightmare for me.  The rest of the day was spent referee their many scuffles and doing the washing.  No relaxation for me in there!

I worked all day Sunday, till very late, helping an Event Manager friend prepare for her biggest annual conference.  It was physically hard but brainless labour.  I spent most of my day with my ear buds in listening to Adele, Florence + the Machine, Carly Simon and Heather Nova (I sense a theme).  It was a welcome break from my kids and house to be honest!  The bad bit was that The Workaholic decided at lunchtime that he really needed to work (I only gave him two weeks notice) so he let the boys run wild.  They got EVERY toy out of the boxes sealed up and ready for the bin or the Salvos, from my epic toy cull a few weeks ago.  He still does not understand why I got angry when I came in the door at 9.30 to discover said toys strewn throughout the house.

Just a taste of the mess I came home to.

Anyway, that was nothing.  Monday was a write off because the Munchkin had been so overindulged by Daddy on Sunday (think soft drink, lollies and MacDonald's for dinner) that I could not inflict him on the rest of his Gymbaroo class.  Luckily I made this decision early, because by lunchtime I was unable to keep my eyes open or stop vomiting.  Not a good day.

Tuesday, I briefly considered doing a make up Gymbaroo class but decided on a trip to the park pre day sleep so he could burn off some of the remaining energy before My friend N dropped off two of her kids for a few hours babysitting after school.  Magically all four kids behaved wonderfully and ate their dinner quietly.  I made it through the day!

Yesterday and today I have to pick up, feed and look after my Event Manager friend's two kids.   I've been looking after them a fair bit this year so we have a good routine and it's not too taxing for me, on a regular week.

This week is not regular.  I'm hanging by a thread!

It's the start of a new month.  I've realised that this is a big mental factor for my ability cope.  We've had such a run of months where we did not have the rent, insurance etc on time, that its like my brain shuts down.  This month should not have been stressful.  The pay should be in, bills should be paid.  It's not and as a consequence, they are not.

I was not expecting the pay to be late.  It was not part of the Plan.  I did a run to Medicare to claim outstanding money.  I feel better with that cash in my wallet.  I even spent $10 on some orange PJ's for my orange loving Munchkin and $15 in the $2 shop on assorted items for his birthday at the end of the month.  Retail therapy really does help.

Tomorrow is Friday.  I have no commitments outside of the promise I made the Little Man this morning of some quality Mummy time after school tomorrow while the Munchkin is still in daycare.  It sounds like heaven.

So I am writing this, tidying up and resetting my attitude. Yet again.  Back to the Plan!!

I used to deal with being busy and broke so much better than I do now.

So how's your week been?